Divorce has many negative connotations. You may be hesitant to file for divorce because of some of the most common misconceptions about what will happen after you make that filing. You should keep in mind, however, that the divorce process is often not nearly as terrible as many people make it out to be. Some of the most common misconceptions about divorce are discussed below—Is this type of negative mindset holding you back from filing for divorce?
Divorce is “Not an Option”
You may have heard friends or family tell you that divorce is “not an option,” for them. You may have even had this thought yourself. However, sometimes divorce is the best option for everyone involved. It can be the end of years of negative feelings or disappointed expectations. It can be a new beginning. It can be the end of fighting and disagreements that have long-term adverse effects on you and your children. Divorce may be a good option in many situations.
Divorce is Always a Battle
You may be hesitant to start the divorce process because you know it will be contentious, time-consuming, and expensive. There are certainly situations where this is the case. However, the vast majority of divorces are settled out of court either between the parties or through mediation. Most divorce cases will never see a contested hearing. Once you get attorneys involved, it may even be less contentious than you ever expected because lawyers serve as a rational “go-between” for spouses.
You Are Giving Up Too Easy
Most couples take months or even years to decide to divorce. They have often tried to take meaningful steps to amend their relationship. Divorce does not mean that you are giving up too quickly; it may merely signify that you recognize that you tried everything and it is time to move on. Couples rarely get a divorce because someone out of the blue decided they did not want to be married anymore. Instead, years of trying, failing, and planning often took place beforehand.
You Should Stay Together for the Kids
“Working things out” for the sake of the children is far, far easier said than done. Constantly seeing parents fight is not good for children’s long-term mental well-being. While watching some conflict can be healthy for kids, destructive conflict does far more harm than good. There are simply some things that you cannot “work out,” and separating is often far more beneficial than remaining together.
The Woman Will Get the Kids, House, and Alimony
Historically, women have been more likely to be awarded full custody of children and receive alimony. However, as more women enter the workplace and become the primary breadwinners, those old notions have changed. There is no “automatic” award for women compared to men. The court will do an in-depth analysis of the facts of the situation and award child custody, property, and alimony based on your unique situation.
You Don’t Need a Lawyer
This common misconception also ends up being the most costly for many spouses. Even if you think you agree on everything, a spouse can change their mind in an instant. It is a good idea to involve an attorney from the start, so you know what to expect and have the ability to deal with conflict if it arises. Blair H. Chan, III PLLC can be a great resource. Contact us today for more information.