Moving Past Your Divorce
Divorce can be devastating for many reasons. The emotional aspects and the related financial issues can be the most problematic. Moving on from your divorce may seem impossible at the time you are experiencing it, but you can do it. Millions of people lead satisfying, productive lives after going through a divorce—and you can too. Use the following suggestions, tips, and tricks to help you move on after your divorce.
1. Realize that anger is an emotion that only focuses on the past.
Being angry after your divorce really does not serve any purpose. It can trap you and force you to stew on events that are in the past and that you cannot change. In fact, issues with anger or holding grudges can make you physically ill. Living with that type of emotion all the time can be exhausting and cause depression.
Looking forward means getting past the anger or sadness. It can take time, and you have every right to be upset about your situation. However, moving past your divorce means getting over the anger.
2. Moving on financially after a divorce can be difficult.
A divorce can cause severe financial constraints. It also changes many aspects of your budget, including income and monthly expenses. For some, these financial changes are a welcome adjustment, particularly if they had a spouse that was not moneywise. However, for others, these changes can result in serious financial turmoil.
The divorce process itself can help you prepare for these changes if you are aware of them. For example, if you are divorcing the breadwinner of the family, asking the court for alimony while you look for a better job may be a good option for you. It is always a good idea to consider what your finances will look like after the divorce is finalized. Sometimes this process is not intuitive, so having a good divorce attorney on your side is always a good idea.
3. Making positive changes for your children.
Divorce can be especially difficult for kids. They may not understand what is happening or they may blame one parent or the other. Anger, depression, anxiety and many other issues can arise. When discussing the divorce, it is important to explain to your children not only what is happening but also why the change may be positive.
Be sure to explain changes that directly affect your child, including whether they will be attending a new school or changing their schedule. Children often function better when they have a set schedule and even consistent obligations.
Moving On Means Different Things for Everyone
It will take time for everyone to adjust, so be patient with not only your children but yourself as well. Money problems affect everyone differently. Health issues can crop up as well. How your divorce ends will also have a significant impact on how long it takes you to move forward. If you are leaving an unhealthy relationship, the change may be welcomed, but not every marriage was unhappy or unsafe. Everyone adjusts at their own pace, so do not feel like you should be “moving on” faster or more efficiently—do what works for you.
Having an attorney on your side that understands how your divorce will affect you in the long-term can be an invaluable resource while you are moving through your divorce. Contact our team for more information on how we can help.