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How to Deal With a Difficult Spouse During a Divorce

Divorce is a difficult enough process on its own, as separating spouses find themselves dealing with feelings of failure, anger, and sadness. Unfortunately, it is all too common for one divorcing spouse to take their feelings out on the other spouse, and this can make an already tough situation even harder. What can you do when your soon-to-be-ex makes your divorce hostile or as hard for you as possible?

Cultivate a Support Network

One of the most important things you can do for yourself during any divorce, but especially a hostile divorce, is to cultivate a supportive network of friends and family, or even co-workers. Having a group of people willing to listen to you, comfort you, and provide you with a social outlet can make all the difference in terms of your confidence and mental health throughout your divorce.

At Blair H. Chan III, PLLC, we see firsthand how draining dealing with a difficult spouse can be upon our clients. Clients with a supportive network are usually better able to keep their spouse’s negative comments and actions in perspective. Surrounding yourself with people who enjoy your company and care about you reminds you that the real issue isn’t you, but rather the situation and how your spouse is choosing to handle it.

Set—And Enforce—Boundaries

When it becomes apparent that your spouse intends to take their anger and frustration with the divorce out on you, you should not be afraid to set clear boundaries with them on what behavior you will and will not tolerate from them. These boundaries can include directives like, “Since you call or text me angry messages every night, uou are not allowed to contact me in any way after 5pm,” or, “You do not need to treat me like I am your wife, but at the very least you should treat me as if we have a professional relationship,” or even, “Since you are unwilling to treat me respectfully, please only communicate with my lawyer.” Do not just set boundaries—enforce them. If your spouse does not abide by your boundaries, reiterate your needs and refuse to engage them unless they respect your wishes.

Know When to Ask Your Lawyer for Help

Sometimes an angry spouse’s behavior can cross the line into harassment or abuse. If this is the case, talk to your lawyer immediately about your options. At Blair H. Chan III, PLLC, we are experienced in advising our clients of their right to seek a protective order, as well as securing protective orders. These kinds of orders can prevent your spouse from contacting you, having physical proximity to you, or can even order your spouse to undergo counseling. Our skilled divorce attorneys will also talk with you about other options, such as engaging the services of a mediator. Your safety and well-being is the top priority in this kind of situation.

Divorcing a Difficult Spouse?

Divorce is not easy, but you do not deserve to be treated with hostility or abuse by your spouse during the process. If you have decided to seek a divorce, the attorneys at Blair H. Chan III, PLLC, will be by your side to help you make informed, supported decisions. Contact us today to learn more.

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