Why You Shouldn’t Think of Divorce as a Failure

Posted on: Categories: Divorce Law

Divorce is emotionally, mentally, financially, and sometimes physically difficult. No one gets a divorce because their marriage has gone the way they expected it to, and it can be hard to see your divorce as anything but a failure. However, there are plenty of reasons you should reframe the way you think about your divorce! Read on to learn why a divorce is anything but a failure.

A Divorce Means You Learned and Grew

A divorce does not mean you failed. It means you learned more about who you are, who your partner was, and what you really need from a relationship. This is the way life is supposed to work, and you should not feel any guilt or shame about the fact that you learned new things about yourself and your spouse during your marriage. This happens in all marriages, and in 50 percent of marriages in the United States, married couples learn enough new information about each other to decide it’s best for everyone to end their partnership. Learning, growing, and acting upon that knowledge and growth is normal and healthy.

A Divorce Means You Stood Up For Yourself

At Blair H. Chan III, PLLC, we see many clients who say that they stayed in the relationship long after it became apparent to them that it was over. They also usually say that they suffered as a result. It is no coincidence that clients feel a weight lift off of them when they finally file for divorce.

Divorce is in and of itself an act of self-care. Many partners in struggling marriages will bend over backwards to make a marriage work, at the expense of their emotional, mental, and physical health. However, if your suffering is what it takes to make a marriage work, then that marriage is not good for you. Making the mental shift from “I’ll do whatever it takes to make it work” to “This is what I need out of a relationship, and I’m not getting it in this marriage” is hard, even if your separation is an amicable one. Acting on it takes courage. Filing for divorce is truly one of the bravest acts of self-love you can undertake in your life.

A Divorce is an Opportunity

It is true that a divorce is an end of a marriage. While most people focus on the “ending” nature of divorce, a divorce is actually better thought of as the start of something new. A divorce means you get another chance at a happy, fulfilling life—something your life likely has not been for a while with a struggling marriage. What’s more, you get a chance to apply the lessons you learned from your previous marriage to your new life, meaning there is a better chance that you will find a partner who meets your needs and that you will be less likely to compromise your health and happiness for someone who cannot give you what you need.

Need a Divorce? Contact a Tampa Divorce Attorney

If you have decided the time is right not only to end your marriage, but to give yourself a chance at a happier, more fulfilling life, the Tampa family law attorneys at Blair H. Chan III, PLLC, are ready to help you through this process. Contact us today.